I was glad that my preceptor had a birth yesterday, because I ended up taking a 3-hour nap. She called me last night and we rescheduled for today, but an hour later, which was even better (for me) than yesterday’s appointment time—I could see my kids off to school with enough time to breath. The day began great—I even got on the road ahead of time. The weather was beautiful and my GPS didn’t even get me lost despite my having to drive over 100 miles away in a direction I had never been. I loved driving through the quaint towns snuggled up against the rolling hills. I passed into Minnesota—my first time ever being in the state—without any fireworks, thankfully. The final leg of the trip took me beside the Mighty Mississippi, which up North here, looks eerily calm compared to the muddy swirling madness seen in Baton Rouge. I almost felt for a moment like jumping in and floating down river to visit my husband. His building overlooks the river, but quickly jumped back into reality for just as I pulled into my town of destination, I coincidentally had to go to the bathroom and a Target was right where it needed to be. Ironically I had been hoping for a big box store, since I had a homework assignment in which I needed to go down a toy aisle. I was in luck!!
Being over an hour early, I had time to shop, snack, and find my way to the beautiful building where my preceptor’s office was located. It was downtown, in an old building and wow, did it have character. It oozed with old-timey love of high base-boards, lots of glass, huge carved banisters — so authentic—what a place for a midwife’s office. After walking up the stairs and looking around at the hodgepodge of businesses sharing the same floor, I became aware of my ever-growing anxiety. I took some rescue remedy, which settled me down tremendously. I sat and waited, texting my friend Tera that I had arrived and noticed my underwear were inside out. She texted back—better than your shirt. So true, it is all about perspective.
My Preceptor arrived within minutes, so I didn’t wait long. She was simple, yet sophisticated looking. She had several bags and I helped her with them. She invited me in and I looked at her office and waiting room. It was small, but she had everything that was needed. We sat down and started discussing the logistics of this whole arrangement. At first, I didn’t know if she liked me at all, actually, I have no idea if she likes me now, and that is weird to me. Normally, it would bother me if we didn’t find each other compatible, but I really don’t care if she didn’t like me. That sounds terrible, let me explain…I hope that whomever I have the opportunity of spending my ‘formative’ years with, is more than comfortable with me. She trusts me with her reputation, her livelihood, her everything. I can’t afford to misrepresent myself and she cannot afford to take on every student who comes knocking at her door. Having said that, I think she has much to offer me. I loved the fact that she offers well-women care. I believe cradle-to-grave service is not only important to women, but it is that same midwifery continuity of care philosophy that we espouse, so we should be taking care of the whole women, before, after, and during her fertile cycle. She has years of experience and attends homebirths (only 1 or maybe 2 every 1 or maybe 2 months)—therein lies one of the big problems. We both have similar concerns, which are both brimming with validity. Childcare is HUGE. Yes, I can plan all I want, but I have been to 3-day births. It isn’t fun to have to worry about your kids and it isn’t fair to them. All I can do is try my best to make arrangements now, but when we are dealing with births which are at least 2 or maybe 3 hours away, there will be several days and nights I will not make it home to see my kids. It doesn’t bother me now, but it might cramp my style later. So, if the births are that far away—will I even make it to them or is it worth it to me to drive 2 hours to an hour long prenatal visit—only to have to turn around and drive home? I don’t know if that is fair for my preceptor to not have the opportunity to teach me and get to know me or is that not a requirement?
Also, will I be able to get the number of hours necessary for graduation? NARM requires 1350 hours, yes, I understand that it is a guideline and I hope to go over that requirement and then some, even if I am legally able to be papered. Numbers are not important to me. Learning the skills to be a competent, proficient midwife are, having said that, my Preceptor has a very small practice. Next week is a ‘busy’ week for her and she only has 1-2 appointments a day. So, let’s do the math—if I need 1350 hours in 5 semesters (I am adding 1 semester for starting early), that is about 15 hours a week needed for clinical hours. I can also do the math this way—this is a 2 year program (365 x 2=730) I would need almost 2 hours a day, every day for two years, to get those numbers, minimally. So, unless, I am counting my drive time, then I have no idea how this is going to work and for the record I don’t mind driving, I actually expect to drive. I knew that the possibility for a drive as long as 3 hours was there when I signed up for the program. I just want it to be worth it hours-wise. If it was a busy clinic or a day when several prenatals were scheduled I would feel much better about spending $3.72 a gallon for gas, but this hit and miss stuff is for the birds. So, we ended with a sweet hug and an understanding that we both needed more information before moving on. She was going to contact the school and figure out the logistics, since I would be her first student ever. Apparently the school had sent her a student a long time ago, but she had never even been to a birth so my Preceptor had said right off the bat that it wasn’t going to work. All I can think was that she didn’t say that to me, yet.
My Journey as a Licensed Midwife in Louisiana 